Confident, yet cautious

The other night I went out in a fashion I am not accustomed too. I just got my hair chopped, so I did some funky style with it, put on a rocker-ish dress that I found as a bargain, and waited to see where the night would take me. We decided to go to a bar we had heard was a pretty good time, and when I found out there was live music that night I was all-in. At one point in the night I made eye contact with a guy across the room. Hands down one of the most attractive people I have ever seen in my life. I thought to myself there would be no chance that this guy would take a second look at me, but with some urging from my friends I decided I would go talk to him; hell I didn't put on a dress for nothing. He ended up being a really nice guy, buying me drinks and talking all night. It wasn't until the bar was about to close that I found out he was a pro baseball player (I admit, I didn't believe it, looked him up later, and he definitley wasn't lying). The point to this story: wear a dress and you can get an athlete to fall for you. But in all seriousness, I found a deeper meaning in this one night, as far-fetched as it may be.

I let myself settle. I don't give myself enough credit and don't go for the things that I really want, and probably do deserve, seeing as though I'm not a completely horrible person. I didn't think this guy would be interested in me, and he was at least for a night. He spent that night getting to know me, not trying anything, and it really gave me a sense of confidence. I didn't think I would get into Case, and applied because one of my teachers pushed me. And I got in. I don't have enough faith in myself, and because I hate rejection so much I don't go for things. Things that I honestly have a shot at.

I think this is the difference between being confident and cocky. It's nice to see people with self-confidence, believing in themselves and constantly pushing to get what they really want. I want to be able to do this more often. If I really want something, I want to go for it. In education, in a profession, and even with cute guys that are fun to look at. I'm at the age I always dreamed of being, and it seems like I don't really have many dreams for myself right now. I want to change that.