Can the past be the future?

You know the scene in the movie where the guy and girl miss each other by a few seconds and it irritates you just watching it? Well, I saw someone the other day, for the first time in a long time, and I'm still deciding if it would have been better if we would have missed each other instead of the perfect timing.

I'm not even sure if they saw me, and if they did, they ignored me. However, I didn't make an effort either. I actually stood there, in the middle of the sidewalk, like an idiot, feeling like I was going to throw up, and run across the street to them at the same time. But I kept looking forward and walked away. It's one of those scene that you picture happening and when it does you completely blank. And since I overanalyze everything, I have spent a lot of time thinking about this and like situations.

When you see a person for the first time in a while the emotions are so mixed. If I am dating someone and I haven't seen them in a while I get really really nervous and have to let myself adjust back to the familiar feelings. This time in particular I realized that I am living my life, completely separate from this person who use to be a huge part of my life and so much has changed. It's like you are living in this world with other people, but you really have no idea what is going on with them anymore; it's just all, foreign. It really made me stop and consider all that has happened to me and where my life is going. It is like you are exisiting in the same place as them, but you're no longer existing together.

After visiting an ex this weekend I am beginning to think I have relationship issues. Okay, I know I have relationship issues, but I have more than I thought. For some reason, I spend time deciding if I want to go back to ex's, instead of realizing that ended for a distinct reason and I should find someone new. But the thing with ex's is when you see them you get that rush of all the old feelings, and it feels so right, and the idea of being loved and wanted is so appealing you want to get back together. Maybe this is just me, but I'm known for dating the same people, over and over, and I can't explain it. I think I tend to forget all the bad, and remember all the good, and I want it back. The point is, do you indulge in those feelings and rekindle the flame, or wait for someone new to come along? How do you know if the past is suppose to stay in the past, or if they are your future as well?

I think this only makes sense in my head and it is frustrating.

On a sidenote, I think missing people is the worst feeling, and I wish when someone missed someone they called them, or sent them a message, letting them know they were thinking about them. Wouldn't that make the world a better place? Knowing that people still think and care about you. I wish people had enough balls to suck it up and just go for it, just say what you think and feel.

I want to be done overanalyzing and just have something happen. Something. Anything.