And I feel nothing, not safe

I don't even have time to write in here anymore. My life is no longer my own.

So many things have happened, yet so little has happened. Grad school is hard, not a 'this is impossible' sense, but in a 'takes up all of your time every day' sense. I'm just exhausted all of the time, and once I think I've caught up it all starts over again. Not to mention, my internship is emotionally draining. I think I've over-involved myself and I had no idea what I was getting into. I don't even know if this is what I want to do with my life.

It just seems like I am putting so much time and effort into something I am unsure about. I always had a plan for my life, and everytime I get a step closer to what I wanted, I can't tell if it is really what I did want.

I envy so many people right now. I wish I could be back at UD; I still haven't gotten it through my head that things will never be the same. I'm longing for a place that no longer exists. I'm missing a lot of people, just missing the comfort of always having someone around to cheer you up, or ask you to go out for a beer and catch up, I need to be around people that I know care about me.

I always do this. I wanted to move to a new city and start all over, and now I wish I was anywhere but here. I hate change, hate it, so why did I decide to change everything in my life? I keep telling myself it is going to be worth it, but I think I just say it to try and make myself feel better, which isn't happening.

I'm exhausted and lonely and waiting for something to happen that gives me a little indication that this is where I am suppose to be right now. I need something to save me.

Do you ever feel like you will never truly be happy again?